1. Introduction:

This is a difficult time for all of us. It’s not easy to know how to act or what to say. At times we will become frightened by what we are feeling. Our own reactions might frighten us because they are so new to us and seem so strong and strange. We might also become frightened about how the grown ups around us are acting also. This is difficult for them also. But, I want you to know we are here to help you through this and to keep you safe.

We are going to talk about our country declaring war on Iraq (or whatever it is called.) I will answer your questions the best I can. We will also talk about reactions most children have.

First of all let’s talk about what the word war means. Brainstorm ideas – war is a political conflict between countries...(that's not too elementary. But we will add a lot of discussion with it.) We have to discuss what political is - having to do with government beliefs - we discuss conflicts are like between kids, between people and then between countries - a war conflict means not being able to solve problems in a peaceful way, like talking would be a peaceful way to solve a problem. We will also talk about other wars they might have heard of and how war won’t last forever.

2. Beginning

This is what we know so far. _________________.

Have you heard anything different? Answer questions throughout this discussion. Discuss what is rumor and what is fact. Discuss how to determine what is fact and what is rumor.

Ask: What upsets you the most about this situation?

3. Normalize these feelings

Ask as you go through the upsetting situations ask, “Do other kids feel this way?” Tell the kids what they might expect over the next few days/weeks: Difficulty falling asleep, bad dreams, getting mad easier, hard time concentrating in school, worried about things you didn’t use to worry about, more stomach aches and headaches, more fears than before.

Express to the children that they may have already experienced some of these reactions and that is normal.

Invite the students to help you come up with ways to handle these new feelings. (They should feel they have survivor instincts within themselves – ask them what they have done in the past when they couldn’t sleep, were worried, got mad, etc. – they can use those same skills now.) Some ways to handle their upsetting situations: coloring, exercise, don’t watch it on TV, playing with their friends, exercise, take a nap, listen to music, write a letter, draw a picture to your dad, read a book, keep a journal, make up an imaginary friend, talk to your dad in your head, pray, make up a dance.

Ask if they have any questions about what will be happening over the next few days. Answer to the best of your ability. It’s okay to say I don’t know.

4. Identify appropriate behaviors - at home and at school

Some examples might include: if your mom seems stressed – it might be a good time to help with her chores. When you have friends at school who seem sad, ask them if they want to do something fun. When a friend is getting angry easier or a parent is getting angry easier – stay away from them and understand they may be mad about other things and not you. Make sure you are getting enough sleep at night – go to bed early so you have some relaxing time before you fall asleep.

Understand also, that even though this is a bad situation for a lot of people, it’s not okay to act poorly. It’s not okay to hit someone and then say it’s because my dad is gone. It’s not okay to not try to do your homework and say, it’s because my mom is gone. You will need to come to school, even if your stomach hurts a little – it’s important to be with your friends and keep learning in school. Your dad thinks and wants you to be in school – that way he doesn’t have to worry about your education and your safety.

Sometimes things like war cause us to think of lots of other questions. Please know that I will be glad to talk to you about them – it may have to be before we start class, during recess or lunch, etc. If I am busy and the question or concern is an emergency, I will find someone for you to talk to, like Mrs. Williams, Mrs. Breece, or Nurse Lori.

5. Conclusion:

Any questions before we end?

Remember, ___________ is at our school to help children who are feeling especially bad. Please let me know if you would like to speak to her.