For Children: When Somebody Dies

When a person dies, their body stops working. They can’t walk, breathe, eat, sleep, hear or feel anymore. All living things die, including flowers, birds and people. It is hard to understand why this must happen, even for grown-ups. But, it is a fact of life.

WHEN and HOW does it happen?

Sometimes people die when they are very, very, very sick, very, very old or sometimes when accidents happen.
Most people live for a very long time. As people grow much older, their bodies slowly begin to wear out. When parts of a person’s body wear out and stop working, a person will most likely die. When a person dies like this we say that they died of “old age”. Most people today live to be eighty and ninety years old.

Sometimes younger people die. This can happen when a person gets very, very, very sick or when they are very badly hurt in an accident like a car accident.

The hardest kind of death for families and friends to deal with is when people die suddenly. When someone dies fast there isn’t a lot of time for their friends and family to get used to the idea that they are gone. But, for the person who dies quickly, there is little or no pain for them at all. Yet, as a friend it can be hard to actually believe your friend will no longer be there.

WHERE do dead people go?

Many people believe that when a person dies, only their body dies and their spirit or soul remains. No one really knows what happens to this part of a person. Ask your family what they believe happens to a person’s spirit or soul when they die. This can help you decide what to believe. No matter what other people tell you, your brother, sister, parent or best friend didn’t want to die. They wanted to be able to play and grow up just like you.

What does GRIEVING mean?

When somebody dies that we love, we hurt and feel sad. We miss the person who died. When we cry and feel very hurt we are grieving the loss of the person who died. Although we will always miss the person who died, with time, we will hurt less and be able to go back to our lives.

How can I remember somebody who died?

Looking at pictures of the person who died is a good way to remember them. We can also talk about that person with our family and friends. Remember the fun things about that person and tell others about those fun times. Some people visit the cemetery where the person who died is buried. A cemetery is a place to go and think about the person that has died or if you want, even say things to that person you wished you would have said before that person died.

All of us will die someday. But, we shouldn’t worry about that now. There are a lot of wonderful people and things to experience while we are ALIVE! If you are worrying that something else might happen to you or someone you really like, talk to your parents or your favorite teacher or school counselor. It can help to talk to someone if you are worried or afraid. NOTE to parents: See the Books section of the Parent Trauma Resource Center for book recommendations to read to or with your children.

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